how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
