Will you blow on my dice?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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