its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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