Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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