youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
