Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
