so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
