U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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