I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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