he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
