wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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