just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
