He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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