so that wasnt chicken after all
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
