Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize