Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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