She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I will pee on everything he values.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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