Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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