make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
