brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All the doctor said was why
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
