Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

i dont know whats so great about being respectable.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just hotboxed my laundry basket.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..

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(631): View more from New York

he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND

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