Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
