I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
