I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
