Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize