I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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