My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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