So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
