yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
