I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
