A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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