and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
