Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
