conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
