$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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