He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
