we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
