Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
