Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
