Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
