Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
