At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
