Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
