he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
