I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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