a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
