I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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