so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
