Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
