i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
