one two three fourrrrnication!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
