fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
