From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
