it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
