Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
