just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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