I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
