dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
