You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize