Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
