Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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